i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Randomize
