I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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