I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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