We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
