waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
