not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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