Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
