covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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