Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
