Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
