3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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