I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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