Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think people are normalizing furries
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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