I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
