He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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NoShamevember. You game?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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