ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
