i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
