Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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