No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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