i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
