What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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