I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
