Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
