Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
