That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
