Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like his penis was on wheels.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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