worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
