She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
