dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
