and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
