I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
