I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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