Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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