dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
