id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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