I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
