yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
