Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
