If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
