Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize