I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
