so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
