She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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