I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
