I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
