He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
its liver damage thursday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
