Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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