my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
