No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
