she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize