oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I AM VODKA MAN
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
