life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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