Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
